Mike Sinkovich Tells You How It Is

Chiang Mai

Tim and I are sat in the front of a white-water raft, while Wayne and Joe who we had just met a few hours ago, are taking on the back. We are all staring at the Thai rafting instructor, who we can't help but notice is not sitting in the raft but standing on the bank, shouting out our last minute (and only) instructions on how to get down a river in a massive inflatable dingy. Having already had a fair assumption that paddling forward was "forward", and the reverse was inevitably going to be "backwards", I couldn't help but feel that the dudes instructions left a little bit to be desired.

By now panic has set in, and Tim, Wayne and myself deal with the understanding that we are about to go down the river alone, and with no previous experience, with the highest maturity and burst into hysterical laughter. Joe, who had already lost all colour from her face when she stepped into the boat, is now well into a second course of panic, having placed an order for a side dish of terror.

Just before the boat leaves the bank, the Thai dude jumps on board and we are all relieved to find we were mistaken, and proceed to paddle out into the river and down towards the rapids. The adrenaline soon blocks out any previous concern we had and by the time we get to the end, even Joe is up for doing it again.

Before Captain Timbo and I booked the trek we had kicked it around town, found some cool little things like art galleries and the like, and went to check out some Kickboxing, at which we witnessed one of the most surreal scenes I have ever seen....four kids of about 6, one in each corner of the ring, blindfolded and pushed into the middle (video here). The ensuing fight is hilarious, and when the kids took the blindfolds off at the end they all looked as happy as a pig in the proverbial.

After the rafting experience with the aussies, and the shared discomfort of sharing a mini-bus and a day of activities with a couple of american girls whose ability to whine about everything came second only to their stupidity ("I guess we'll get wet when we go in the water...huh?"), we seemed to get along fairly well and while Timbo went on his 3 day trek (check out photos here) I kicked it around Chiang Mai with them, checking out temples, local silk, silver, lacquer and pottery industries, and getting my sweet ass blessed by a monk, no less.

After a few days Wayne and Joe had to jam back to Bangkok, and to their 9-5 grinds (suckers) and I was left with an extreme feeling of dejavu of Eulas departure as I watched them walk from the bar towards the street and disappear back into the world. My sadness was not to be around for long as the american owners of the bar (and guesthouse) in which I was sat, Tim and Tony, proceeded to ply myself and some of their guests with cocktails that started with a kick and ended in lethal as measuring cups were dropped for the more liberal tip of the bottle.

Come closing time I found myself on the back of a bike (more flashbacks from Sirsa and Vinod) headed for a quick B52 at a bar comprising of a VW camper van and a very nice Thai lady who very carefully constructed a flawless shot of weapons-grade cocktail. The rest of the evening was, inevitably, rather blurry but much fun, although I am no less able to explain to a Thai guy that I'm not gay while trying not to offend but simultaneously preventing him from kissing me than I was at the beginning of the night. I assume it is not a skill I will be practising with regular occasion.

The following day saw Timbos return and we headed back to Tim and Tony's guesthouse where we accidentally spent the day playing Thai poker with the staff and making enough money to cover the breakfast we had six hours previously. I would recommend anyone who gets a chance to play this game to give it a go, it is very addictive but you play with pence so it's (relatively) safe from financial ruin.

I'm not sure when we will leave Chiang Mai, and I'm not sure where we will go when we do, although I've heard good things about Pai. Soon we will have to start sorting out visas and moving towards Laos, to get to 'Nam for crimbo where, hopefully, we should be meeting some friends for a tipple, and we're still only half way through.

From Travel to Tourism

So November has run along rather quickly and we're a week short of being in Thailand for a month. I'd rather put the rather rapid passage of time, a lot of it I can't seem to account for, down to the mild culture shock induced by our travels in India after we landed in Bangkok. Others may tell you that it's because, after two months of very little access to an evening tipple on the sauce, we may have had too much fun with respect to madame alcohol. Ignore these 'others', they are filthy liars, and if you're heading to the bar, mine's a white russian.

We only stayed in Bangkok for one night as, for me and I think Timbo, it appears to all the senses as an 18-30's club resort. I'm sure if you wander ten minutes from the main tourist track you can find something a bit less like an episode of "Club Reps: How to lose your dignity" but we didn't hang around to find out, catching a morning bus down to Ko Samet the morning after we landed.
After racking up some proud hours of, what we now refer to as Proper Bus Time, in India, we were fairly disappointed to find that we were crammed into a mini-van complete with air-con, tinted windows, reclining seats and an overwhelming sense of detachment from the culture you know is out there, hiding behind the money changers and the tour companies.

After spending a hectic (if you count daytime beach lounging and night-time cocktails) week on Ko Samet with Mark, Paula, Natasha, Adrienna and Scott we decided to head futher east along the coast to Ko Chang. With everyone else having left to go on to other travels or rotate back to the world, we were left with the, by no means lesser, company of Mark and Paula.
Having landed an awesome, yet surreal bungalow at the north end of the main beach, up in an outcrop of rocks, we proceeded to take up similar routines in doing very little during the day, and indulging in some rather strong cocktails and bad dancing at night. Timbo, in my opinion, should be awarded a medal for services to the cause after clearing a hole in the dance floor through fear and confusion caused by some of the most awesome dance moves I have ever witnessed. I even put a precautionary five foot between us as he took the definition of "rocking out" and gave it a new meaning. Demonic possession.

Before Mark and Paula moved on we hired some scooters in order to have a look at the south of the island. It was rather disturbing that, having never ridden anything with an engine and two wheels, I was able to pay a stupidly small sum of money and jump on one. With the hire-dudes "oh no no" fading into the distance, I somehow managed to get the scooter under a vague semblance of control as I shot across the car park, just about missed a wall 10ft from where I started, turned into the road and introduced myself to a world of whirring trucks, beeping pick-ups and a fear that had been bred into me from a young age, ringing in my ears "deathtrap.....deathtrap...".
Turns out the parents were right, and while I didn't crash the bloody thing once, and even grew some confidence and enjoyment by the end of the day, I took my unscathed experience of bicycle-automation as a lucky escape rather than a sign of more for the future. I don't think I'll ever get on one again, I wasn't made for those things.

After Ko Chang, and goodbye to Mark and Paula, it was back to the dreaded Bangkok, where we had to stay for a couple of days to get a replacelemt camera, after which we moved slightly north to Kujanaburi, home of the bridge over the river kwai and some interesting, but depressing museum visits for me, before heading up to Ayuthua (both place names are horribly misspelt) with the intention of getting up to Chiang Mai without going via Bangkok.
We succeeded, all to easily, via another horrible tourist bus from which we were herded, like cash cows with dollar signs branded on our faces, to guesthouses we didn't want to stay in, ran away from, and found our own. And here we have been for a day.

We plan to do some rafting, mountain biking, elephant trekking and quad biking maybe tomorrow in an all rounder day. Timbo plans to go off on a three day trek into the mountains, which leaves me with a butload of bookshops and a new found interest in greek philosophy after finishing "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintainance". Cups of tea and a load of books, a Sinkovich school of meditation.